BITE SOME

-

“Chale I de go find chow buy come; I de hungs. My friend Bobo tapped and excused himself. I had my attention on my Aki Ola Past quo because I didn’t want to repeat what happened last term with Okay, my core Maths teacher.

Okay be that kinda maths teacher who doesn’t care whether you understand the topic or not. His examination questions can get you infected with tuberculosis. In fact, you will end up coughing throughout the examination period.

We are used to calling him “Okay” in his absence because we came to meet our predecessors call him so. 

 According to them, he kept saying okay, okay, throughout his period. The okay he’s been saying is usually rhetorical.  He no really de hia your response like that. Whether you understand the subject or not, he go continue.

For over 30 minutes, Bobo no return from fetching his food. But I didn’t realise it’s been that long cos I was busy solving past maths questions which I still didn’t even understand.

“Charley, bite some”. I felt someone behind me but didn’t turn to look cos I was sure it would be Bobo. We were the only people in the classroom as at 1:15am. “Charley, bite some”. I heard the voice again but this time around, I saw a hand stretched over my right shoulder holding a hot bofrot.

I turned slightly and took the bofrot. Charley e de go on ooo. Where you go get this hot bofrot by this time of the night? Wey vampire sell this give you. I didn’t get any response and I never bothered. I focused on solving my last question which I know I will forget by daybreak. The last time I tried this, I scored 19%. 

Moro er, Okay en maths paper go moan ruf aswear. The way I go romance am then chop am er. En body all go come. I didn’t get feedback on this too. At least what I said should sound funny enough to hear a laughter. Probably Bobo is also learning.

For the third time, a hand stretched over my shoulder again and said, “Charley you for bite some oo” This time around I had to turn. Swiftly I turned. Then I froze.

For the first time in my life, I saw a creature sitting right behind me. This creature looks like a pig. Its body looks like a pig with a human neck and the head is something else. The head was some kind of a big frying pan with lots of bofrots.

I stood still. The classroom was serene and I couldn’t feel my legs. I was feeling cold all of a sudden. My lips were as dry as a dried corn husk. I spent 18 years in Sunday school, yet I forgot Jesus Christ ever existed.

Suddenly I heard another voice and continuously tapping me from behind. “Ma guy, ma guy, yo, tinup, ma guy tinup” This time around, it was Bobo. I turned in a wake realizing it was a dream. I stood up in a haste to get out of the classroom just to realize ma khaki shorts was wet. Ah ma guy, you Piss for body?  Bobo asked in shock.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SURVIVOR’S TALE; The Story of Apallo

-
Image
  EPISODE 1   Four-corners was one of the best soccer games Apallo loved to play when we were kids. Talking of “Mo nky3 ndi” which literally means “Lets share to spend” you will lose if he’s your opponent. You dare not play against him. There’s no way we could fix a football match without Apallo. He was the best. He could dribble almost every player on the pitch. I recollect in one of our serious football matches against another vicinity called “Tebulemu”. Boys in that neighbourhood were scary and fearsome but Apallo dribbled almost every player on the pitch forgetting to score and bypassed the goal post. He could be selfish sometimes and if you are not careful, you will never touch a ball till its half time. Aside being a “ballu gbee”, he was a very hard working guy. “Ma guy, one day I go travel go Yankey oo” he used to say this to me every day. Every afternoon after school, Apallo would visit most of the houses in the neighbourhood to empty their waste bins and carry ...
Read more

DAAVI

-
Image
Daavi told me to be calm and sober Daavi told me to take my studies serious. It’s key to success Daavi promised that everything is going to be fine and easy when I grow up Daavi did not tell me one thing Daavi did not tell me everything Daavi did not tell me it’s going to be tougher as I grow up Daavi told me to focus. “There is more sleep after death my son” she said. “After graduating, you will have all the time to rest. There is more sleep after death” Daavi did not tell me they were all lies. There is no way I could rest after school. Daavi!!! You should have told me. You should have told me that after National Service, I would be hunting for jobs. Daavi did not tell me that a time may come, I will be paying utility bills, school fees, buying school supplies, diapers and etc. That I will grow up with responsibilities upon my shoulders Daavi told me to be punctual at Sunday School Daavi said church is good for me. God w...
Read more

WHO ARE THOSE?

-
Image
Who are those men & women telling us what to do? Who are those stirring up the people and causing them to rise against their masters? Who are those behind the scenes, manipulating what is to be seen? They create a sphere, set the agenda; we end up talking about Who are those people in the public sectors manipulating activities for their gains and selfish interests? They were there. They are there. They will continue to be there. When they retire, they will replace their vacant positions with their relatives. They are the originators of the “WHO YOU KNOW" philosophy. These men at the top do neither work per their job description nor follow the codes they subscribe to, but all they think about is how they will fill their protruded belly with cash. Bribery and Corruption is their breakfast. Who are those bureaucrats and technocrats, thinking they can do whatever they like? These bureaucrats and technocrats are appointed by the government for specialized fun...
Read more